Personal Growth Books - NJCU :: Counseling Center

The most widely recommended assertiveness training book helps readers develop more effective self-expression with detailed procedures, examples, stories and exercises.

Anthony, Martin & Swinson, Richard (1998). When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism.

At work and at home, people are continually bombarded with demands to do better. What's more, in addition to external pressures, many feel enormous internal pressure to perform and succeed. These thoughts and behaviors can often become overwhelming and incapacitating. In When Perfect Isn't Good Enough, leading mental health experts Martin Antony and Richard Swinson offer a clear and thorough account of the various types of perfectionism and present detailed coping strategies for controlling and overcoming the need to be perfect.

Antony , Martin & Swinson, Richard (2008). The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook (2^nd Edition).

This comprehensive new edition of The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook includes techniques for overcoming social phobia, including treatments for anxiety-related problems such as interpersonal psychotherapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, and relaxation and meditation-based treatments, as well as updated information on medications.

This revitalizing, therapeutic approach, discovered by Dr. Benson and his colleagues in the laboratories of Harvard Medical School and its teaching hospitals, is now routinely recommended to treat patients suffering from heart conditions, high blood pressure, chronic pain, insomnia, and many other physical ailments. Requiring only minutes to learn, and just ten to twenty minutes of practice twice a day, the Relaxation Response has proven to be one of the most effective ways to relieve the tensions of modern-day living for a richer, healthier, more productive life.

Berg, Karen & Gilman, Andrew (1989). Get to the Point: How to Say What You Mean and Get What You Want.

The complete guide to making effective presentations. The proven program that helps you fight performance anxiety - and communicate with confidence and ease. Teaches you how to say what you mean and get what you want.

Bloomfield, Harold (1985). The Achilles Syndrome: Transforming Your Weaknesses into Strengths.

According to Psychiatrist Harold Bloomfield, we all have at least one Achilles heel, a vulnerability, an insecurity, or a weak spot in our psychological make-up that periodically affects us. The Achilles Syndrome robs us of perspective. "Many of us view our weaknesses as if they are the sole measure of our attractiveness and self-worth." Our lives can become a losing battle if we go into hiding because of our shortcomings rather than improving on an already worthy foundation.

Since its first edition in 1990, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook has sold more than 600,000 copies. Its engaging exercises and worksheets have helped millions of readers make real progress in overcoming problems with anxiety and phobic disorders. The Authoritative Guide to Self-Help Resources in Mental Health (Norcross, et al., 2003) gave the book its highest rating and praised it as "a highly regarded and widely known resource." Thousands of mental health and medical professionals recommend this book to their clients and patients every year. Simply put, it is the single finest source of self-help information on its topic available anywhere.

Bradshaw, John (1990). Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child.

Using a combination of workshop presentations and exclusive, practical exercises, John Bradshaw demonstrates how your wounded inner child may be causing you pain and offers the tools to help you gradually, safely go back to reclaim, and nurture that child - and literally help yourself grow up again.

Burns, David (1980). Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.

The good news is that anxiety, guilt, pessimism, procrastination, low self-esteem, and other "black holes" of depression can be cured without drugs! In Feeling Good, eminent psychiatrist, David D. Burns, M.D., outlines the remarkable, scientifically proven techniques that will immediately lift your spirits and help you develop a positive outlook on life.

Dr. David Burns is one of the prime developers of cognitive therapy, a fast-acting, drug-free treatment for designed to help the clinically depressed. In The Feeling Good Handbook, he adapts cognitive therapy to deal with the wide range of everyday problems that plague so many (chronic nervousness, panic attacks, phobias, and feelings of stress, guilt, or inferiority). The Feeling Good Handbook teaches how to remove the mental obstacles that bar you from success--from test anxiety and fear of public speaking to procrastination and self-doubt.

Fragments of a Great Secret have been found in the oral traditions, in literature, in religions and philosophies throughout the centuries. For the first time, all the pieces of The Secret come together in an incredible revelation that will be life-transforming for all who experience it. In this book, you'll learn how to use The Secret in every aspect of your life -- money, health, relationships, happiness, and in every interaction you have in the world. You'll begin to understand the hidden, untapped power that's within you, and this revelation can bring joy to every aspect of your life.

Cameron, Julia (2002). The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity.

The Artist's Way has touched the lives of millions of people around the world. Now, for the first time, fans will have this elegantly designed and user-friendly volume for use in tandem with the book. The Artist's Way Workbook includes: more than 110 Artist's Way tasks; more than 50 Artist's Way check-ins. The Artist's Way Workbook is an indispensable book for anyone following the spiritual path to higher creativity laid out in The Artist's Way.

Carter, Les & Minirth, Frank (2000). The Worry Workbook: Twelve Steps to Anxiety-Free Living.

Worry is one of the most common mood disorders in America. Whether you call it stress, tension, frustration, or anxiety, worry can take its toll on health and well-being. It can be caused by life changes, such as divorce or career upheaval, or it can become a debilitating chronic disorder. The Worry Workbook helps readers understand what causes anxiety and how they can move beyond worry into emotional freedom. Practical steps, interactive exercises, checklists, and guided questions help readers identify their fears, replace negative talk with positive action, learn to accept what is out of their control, and make life-enhancing choices.

Castle, Lana (2003). Bipolar Disorder Demystified: Mastering the Tightrope of Manic Depression.

In Bipolar Disorder Demystified, author Lana Castle, who has lived the better part of her life with this illness, has turned her personal experience into an eloquent and useful guide to all those who travel down the same path. In clear and honest language, Castle helps readers understand the true nature of bipolar disorder, the factors that complicate its diagnosis, and strategies for coping with the illness. Bipolar Disorder Demystified makes great strides in dispelling the mystery surrounding this illness, helping readers decide if it’s time to seek treatment, and providing those with any form of mood disorder the information they need to better manage their lives.

Shyness is a syndrome, argues Wellesley psychology professor Cheek, an interaction of feelings, thoughts and active behavior. And shyness is customarily manifested in one of three ways: physical distress (blushing, or pounding heartbeat); worries (e.g., feelings of inadequacy); and a lack of social skills. The problem may develop in the very young child--in which case symptoms are largely physical--or during adolescence, when the sufferer is prone to anxiety. Cheek and his coauthors, both freelance writers, divide this enormously helpful book into two parts, the first devoted to overcoming shyness by a variety of techniques, and the second to applying newfound confidence to social life, such as making friends and approaching the opposite sex. Included also are valuable diagnostic tests and suggestions for keeping progress records.

Stephen Covey, an internationally respected leadership authority, realizes that true success encompasses a balance of personal and professional effectiveness, so this book is a manual for performing better in both arenas. His anecdotes are as frequently from family situations as from business challenges. Before you can adopt the seven habits, you'll need to accomplish what Covey calls a "paradigm shift"--a change in perception and interpretation of how the world works. Covey takes you through this change, which affects how you perceive and act regarding productivity, time management, positive thinking, developing your "proactive muscles" (acting with initiative rather than reacting), and much more.

A clear and concise handbook on how to recognize warning signs of credit card abuse. Learn to take control, pay off your debt, and where to turn when you cannot do it alone.

Describes one man's transformation upon his acceptance of the principles of Yoga and gives a modern restatement of the importance of the spiritual side of man's nature.

Dr. Joy Davidson describes the learned behavior of “self-sabotage” as drama-seeking – the need to fill our lives with melodrama – and she has helped hundreds of women break free from these self-destructive patterns. The Soap Opera Syndrome offers a step-by-step program for turning the temporary thrills of dramatic flare-ups into a steadier, more rewarding lifestyle.

Dyer, Wayne (2001). Pulling Your Own Strings: Dynamic Techniques for Dealing with Other People and Living Your Life as You Choose.

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer reveals how we all can prevent ourselves from being victimized by others and begin to operate from a position of power at the centre of our own lives. Asserting that we alone are responsible for how much we will be controlled by others, Dyer offers his practical plan for developing new attitudes toward the most common sources of victimization and manipulation, such as family members and authority figures in the workplace.

If you're plagued by guilt or worry and find yourself falling unwittingly into the same old self-destructive patterns, then you have "erroneous zones" -- whole facets of your approach to life that act as barriers to your success and happiness. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer can now help you break free! If you believe that you have no control over your feeling and reactions, Dyer reveals how much you can take charge of yourself and manage how much you let difficult situations affect you. If you spend more time worrying what others think than working on what you want and need, Dyer points the way to true self-reliance. From self-image problems to over-dependence upon others, Dyer gives you the tools you need to enjoy life to the fullest.

It’s as simple as A.B.C. Noted psychologist and author, Dr. Albert Ellis, explains how anyone, using plain, common sense techniques, can conquer man’s deepest rooted anxiety – the fear of death. These positive techniques can and will relieve the irrational stresses and tension that occur during a plane trip.

Fensterheim, Herbert & Baer, Jean (1988). Making Life Right When it Feels All Wrong.

You can learn to say what you mean and mean what you say. This best-selling guide has already transformed thousands of lives—and can change your as well. The authors' pioneering Assertiveness Training Technique can help you gain recognition and promotion on the job, renew your marriage, put more zing in your sex life, deal with your children more effectively, and make new friends.

Foa, Edna & Wilson, Reid (1991). Stop Obsessing: How to Overcome Your Obsessions and Compulsions.

Once considered almost untreatable, OCD is now known to be a highly treatable disorder using behavior therapy. In this newly revised edition of Stop Obsessing! Drs. Foa and Wilson, internationally renowned authorities on the treatment of anxiety disorders, share their scientifically based and clinically proven self-help program that has already allowed thousands of men and women with OCD to enjoy a life free from excessive worries and rituals.

Most people are unable to love on the only level that truly matters: love that is compounded of maturity, self-knowledge, and courage. As with every art, love demands practice and concentration, as well as genuine insight and understanding. In his classic work, The Art of Loving, renowned psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm explores love in all its aspects - not only romantic love, steeped in false conceptions and lofty expectations, but also brotherly love, erotic love, self-love, the love of God, and the love of parents for their children.

To have or to be? is one of the seminal books of the second half of the 20th century. Nothing less than a manifesto for a new social and psychological revolution to save our threatened planet, this book is a summary of the penetrating thought of Erich Fromm. His thesis is that two modes of existence struggle for the spirit of humankind: the having mode, which concentrates on material possessions, power, and aggression, and is the basis of the universal evils of greed, envy, and violence; and the being mode, which is based on love, the pleasure of sharing, and in productive activity. To Have Or to Be? is a brilliant program for socioeconomic change.

Fulghum, Robert (1988). All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things

Fulghum engages us with musings on life, death, love, pain, joy, sorrow, and the best chicken-fried steak in the continental U.S.A. The little seed in the Styrofoam cup offers a reminder about our own mortality and the delicate nature of life . . . a spider who catches (and loses) a full-grown woman in its web one fine morning teaches us about surviving catastrophe . . . the love story of Jean-Francois Pilatre and his hot air balloon reminds us to be brave and unafraid to “fly” . . . life lessons hidden in the laundry pile . . . magical qualities found in a box of crayons . . . hide-and-seek vs. sardines–and how these games relate to the nature of God.

Glasser's classic bestseller, with more than 500,000 copies sold, examines his alternative to Freudian psychoanalytic procedures, explains the procedure, contrasts it to conventional treatment, and describes different individual cases in which it was successful.

Gray, John (1999). How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have: A Practical and Spiritual Guide to Personal Success.

What you want materially and what you want spiritually are both important, says John Gray, Ph.D., in How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have. "Wanting more is the nature of our soul, mind, heart, and senses," he says. As an antidote of sorts to the sometimes overly strict books of late that advocate a life of utter simplicity, he concedes that it's okay to want a big promotion or fancy car. It's also noble to want a solid spiritual life and to want to be at peace with yourself. However, he says, you need to recognize and work on the many self-defeating behaviors that may be thwarting your chances for reaching your goals. In fact, he identifies 24 typical stumbling blocks to look for.

Hallowell, Edward & Ratey, John (1995). Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention-Deficit Disorder from Childhood through Adulthood.

Through vivid stories of the experiences of their patients (both adults and children), Drs. Hallowell and Ratey show the varied forms ADD takes -- from the hyperactive search for high stimulation to the floating inattention of daydreaming -- and the transforming impact of precise diagnosis and treatment.

Hallowell, Edward & Ratey, John (2006). Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder.

ADD is a trait, a way of living in the world. It only becomes a disorder when it impairs your life. Featuring gripping profiles of patients with ADD who have triumphed, Delivered from Distraction is a wise, loving guide to releasing the positive energy that all people with ADD hold inside. If you have ADD or care about someone who does, this is the book you must read.

This highly acclaimed guidebook is a working blueprint to help you regain control of your life. It is filled with charts, lists, self-tests – and illuminating insights that will help you recognize what is most important to you and concentrate on the people and goals that will give you genuine satisfaction in life.

This workbook is written in an easy-to-use, step-by-step format. It offers you powerful strategies for overcoming depression in simple, direct language, amply illustrated with stories and reinforced by techniques you can practice right away.

Based on the nationally acclaimed bestseller, this program features the distinguished Rabbi Harold S. Kushner in a touching, heart-warming conversation. Inspired by the death of his 14-year-old son and his family's shared ordeal, Rabbi Kushner tells how to deal spiritually with an unfair loss or tragedy. He gives us wise and compassionate advice on how we can cope, what we should do about our anger and how we can keep from feeling guilty that we are the cause of bad things that happen. Rabbi Kushner reaches out to people of all faiths as he offers a message of love and peace.

With wit, wisdom and uncommon sense, Dr. Harriet Lerner gives readers the tools to solve problems and create joy, meaning and integrity in their relationships. Women will find Life Preservers (more than 40,000 copies sold in hardcover) to be an invaluable motivational guide that covers the landscape of work and creativity, anger and intimacy, friendship and marriage, children and parents, loss and betrayal, sexuality and health and much more.

Lyubomirsky, Sonja (2008). The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.

Drawing on her own groundbreaking research with thousands of men and women, research psychologist and University of California professor of psychology Sonja Lyubomirsky has pioneered a detailed yet easy-to-follow plan to increase happiness in our day-to-day lives-in the short term and over the long term. The How of Happiness is a different kind of happiness book, one that offers a comprehensive guide to understanding what happiness is, and isn't, and what can be done to bring us all closer to the happy life we envision for ourselves. Using more than a dozen uniquely formulated happiness-increasing strategies, The How of Happiness offers a new and potentially life- changing way to understand our innate potential for joy and happiness as well as our ability to sustain it in our lives.

Moreines, Robert & McGuire, Patricia (1989). Light Up Your Blues: Understanding and Overcoming Seasonal Affective Disorders.

Seasonal depression can be much more than the “winter blues.” For many people, the winter months may lead to a Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), with symptoms that may include stress, anxiety, depression, panic, fear, overeating, and substance abuse. In this book, two expert bio-psychiatrists clearly describe the symptoms, causes, and treatments of SAD.

A distinguished author and teacher isolates irrational fear, the virus that cripples men and women in the vital areas of their lives – work, marriage, sex, parenthood, and old age. Overstreet traces the origins and effects of fear on ourselves, our children, our family, and our friends, and thereby opens the way to the conquest of fear and the achievement of self-confidence and emotional maturity.

Paterson, Randy (2000). The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships.

Many people in today’s society fear conflict and criticism. They believe that in any conflict they would lose, and that any criticism would crush them. They feel that they have no right to impose their views – or for that matter, themselves – on the world. They have been trained from childhood to believe that their role is to accept and live up to the standards that other people impose. Being visible, being flawed, holding opinions, or having wishes of their own all leave them open to attack. In this workbook you will learn about many of the basic skills and ideas involved in being more fully present in your world and your life. Many of these skills you already know. Some may be new. In order to bring them into your life it will take practice and effort.

Pirsig, Robert (1984). Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values.

One of the most important and influential books written in the past half-century, Robert M. Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is a powerful, moving, and penetrating examination of how we live . . . and a breathtaking meditation on how to live better. Here is the book that transformed a generation: an unforgettable narration of a summer motorcycle trip across America's Northwest, undertaken by a father and his young son. A story of love and fear -- of growth, discovery, and acceptance -- that becomes a profound personal and philosophical odyssey into life's fundamental questions, this uniquely exhilarating modern classic is both touching and transcendent, resonant with the myriad confusions of existence . . . and the small, essential triumphs that propel us forward.

Prather, Hugh (1998). Spiritual Notes to Myself: Essential Wisdom for the 21^st Century.

Prather writes with a quirky sense of humor, coupled with a more mature wisdom that takes the self lightly and gently laughs at the ego's demands. His latest reflections turn away from the theme of self-fulfillment to the awareness that love and service are the way to heal our separation from God and one another. The Methodist minister touches briefly on issues such as gossip, money, marriage, parenting, prayer, and dying with thoughtfulness and humorous practicality. Sure to please many readers with its timeless wisdom presented in a fresh, simple manner.

A Way of Being was written in the early 1980s, near the end of Carl Rogers's career, and serves as a coda to his classic On Becoming a Person. More personal and philosophical than his earlier writings, it traces his professional and personal development and ends with a person-centered prophecy, in which he predicts a future changing in the direction of more humaneness.

Don't get even -- get mad, and get over it! When you lose your temper honestly, it can be good for you. In this perennially bestselling book, eminent psychiatrist and bestselling author Dr. Theodore Isaac Rubin shows how one of the most powerful human emotions can change your life. Suppressed or twisted anger can lead to anxiety, depression, insomnia, psychosomatic illness, alcoholism, frigidity, impotence, and downright misery. But understanding and releasing anger can lead to greater health, happiness, and emotional wholeness.

Dorothy Sarnoff, Chairman of Speech Dynamics, Inc., has successfully counseled CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, politicians such as Senator Robert Dole and Lloyd Bentsen, newscasters such as Lesley Stahl, and numerous media personalities. Now, she shares her time-tested techniques to help you conquer your nerves and come across with authority, enthusiasm, and ease in any social situation or public forum. Whether you're talking to a dinner companion or to your boss, meeting with the PTA or with a room full of television reporters, you'll never have to be nervous again.

Virginia Satir's work is positive and uplifting. She resists the temptation to simplistically blame everything on "dysfunction" between the partners in the "marital dyad" and, instead, looks at the family as a collection of imperfect individuals who all have a potential to grow and learn. Anyone can come up with "what's wrong" in a family, but this does nothing to solve problems and foster resiliency, which all families need in this decidedly family-hostile culture. Whether you are an experienced family therapist or just a family member, this book encapsulates Satir’s paradigm for working with and helping families in need.

Scarf, Maggie (1982). Unfinished Business: Pressure Points in the Lives of Women.

In detailed, revealing portraits of women from their teens through their sixties, Maggie Scarf explores the core experiences of women's lives and discovers what can happen when the days and years scurry by, leaving unfinished the tasks that transform us from child to girl to woman.

Schlessinger, Laura (1996). How Could You Do That? The Abdication of Character, Courage, and Conscience.

The best-selling author and internationally syndicated radio talk show host shows us how honoring our personal values and "doing good" leads to self-satisfaction and peace of mind. Following her phenomenally successful Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura explores and addresses such areas as morality and traditional values, self-respect, and decision-making to create a prescription for bettering ourselves and the lives of others.

Schlessinger, Laura (2006). Bad Childhood, Good Life: How to Blossom and Thrive in Spite of an Unhappy Childhood.

Dr. Laura will help you realize that no matter what circumstances you came from or currently live in, you are ultimately responsible for how you react to them. The acceptance of this basic truth is the source of your power to secure the Good Life you long for. In her signature straightforward style, with real-life examples, Dr. Laura shows you what you will gain by not being satisfied with an identity as a victim, or even as a survivor -- but striving to be a victor!

Seamands, David (2002). Redeeming the Past: Recovering From the Memories That Cause Our Pain.

Time alone cannot heal the memories of experiences so painful that we've been pushing them out of our conscious minds for many years. Yet such memories continue to cause us emotional and spiritual problems. They must be dealt with directly and deliberately by a special kind of spiritual therapy that Dr. David Seamands calls memory healing. This form of Christian counseling coupled with prayer focuses the healing power of the Holy Spirit on the root of the problem and breaks the bondage of traumatic memories.

Seligman, Martin (2002). Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment .

Seligman provides the tools you need in order to ascertain your most positive traits or strengths. Then he explains how, by frequently calling upon these "signature strengths" in all the crucial realms of life -- health, relationships, career -- you will not only develop natural buffers against misfortune and negative emotion, but also achieve new and sustainable levels of authentic contentment, gratification, and meaning.

Seligman, Martin (2006). Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life.

Known as the father of the new science of positive psychology, Martin E.P. Seligman draws on more than twenty years of clinical research to demonstrate how optimism enhances the quality of life, and how anyone can learn to practice it. Offering many simple techniques, Dr. Seligman explains how to break an “I—give-up” habit, develop a more constructive explanatory style for interpreting your behavior, and experience the benefits of a more positive interior dialogue.

At last, this is your story. You'll recognize yourself, your friends, and your loves. You'll see how to use each life crisis as an opportunity for creative change -- to grow to your full potential. Gail Sheehy's brilliant road map of adult life shows the inevitable personality and sexual changes we go through in our 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond.

No matter what age or which sex you are, you are likely to face many of the following crossroads: Leaving home, choosing a mate, starting a career, turning thirty, considering divorce, deciding whether or not to become a parent, mourning the death of a parent, turning fifty, facing financial disasters, learning how to retire without joining the walking dead— Pathfinders will show you how to turn these life obstacles into opportunities.

Smith, Manuel (1975). When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy.

The best-seller that helps you say: "I just said 'no' and I don't feel guilty!"Are you letting your kids get away with murder?Are you allowing your mother-in-law to impose her will on you?Are you embarrassed by praise or crushed by criticism?Are you having trouble coping with people?Learn the answers in When I Say No, I Feel Guilty,the best-seller with revolutionary new techniques for getting your own way.

Stearns, Ann Kaiser (1988). Coming Back: Rebuilding Lives After Crisis and Loss.

Ann Kaiser Sterns calls them “triumphant survivors,” the dozens of people interviewed for this book whose tragedies, disappointments, and losses were turned to victories. She shares with us the experiences of those whose lives have been shattered by serious disease, unexpected death, the breakup of dreams and expectations, chronic pain, and other crises that seem unbearable. She outlines the methods for new growth: dealing with pain, accepting the process of grief, recognizing turning points, using healing techniques and, most important, discovering traits of survival that have helped others achieve the best possible life.

Steiner, Claude (1974). Scripts People Live: Transactional Analysis of Life Scripts.

In Scripts People Live, Steiner demonstrates that people are innately healthy but develop a pattern early in life based upon negative or positive influences of those around them. Thus, children decide, however unconsciously, whether they will be happy or depressed, winners or failures, strong or dependent, and having decided, they spend the rest of their lives making the decision come true. For those who choose a negative script, the consequences can be disastrous unless they make a conscious decision to change.

This book is for anyone who has EVER felt even the teensiest, weensiest bit of anxiety. A light-hearted look at anxiety in all our lives.

Van Fleet, James (2002). Conversation Power: Communication for Business and Personal Success [ABRIDGED] [AUDIOBOOK] (Audio CD)

Whether you're selling, persuading, advising or explaining, you spend most of your day to-day life in verbal communication with others. The skills you bring to those exchanges will determine whether they go in your favor -- or leave you behind as others succeed. If you can't communicate your ideas or intentions, you can't expect others to understand them; on the other hand, the better you can make yourself understood, the higher your chances for climbing to the top.

In Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst turns her considerable talents to a serious and far-reaching subject: how we grow and change through the losses that are an inevitable and necessary part of life. She argues persuasively that through the loss of our mothers' protection, the loss of the impossible expectations we bring to relationships, the loss of our younger selves, and the loss of our loved ones through separation and death, we gain deeper perspective, true maturity, and fuller wisdom about life. She has written a book that is both life affirming and life changing.